Bestzogbaf is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, grumpy ferret.

Bestzogbaf created the solar system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestzogbaf, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bestzogbaf, she will strike you with lightening.

Bestzogbaf's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Bestzogbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Put Bestzogbaf first in all things.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bestzogbaf.

4. Worship no other gods but Bestzogbaf.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.