Fagfudvil is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, loving human.

Fagfudvil created snails five million years ago.

If you believe in Fagfudvil, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fagfudvil, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Fagfudvil's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Fagfudvil's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Erect eight lead sculptures of Fagfudvil on top of important buildings.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never talk about ants.

5. Do not commit murder.