Gesstapdin is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, generous eagle.

Gesstapdin created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gesstapdin, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gesstapdin, she will turn you into a snail.

Gesstapdin's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gesstapdin's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Worship no other gods but Gesstapdin.

3. Never wear indigo corsets.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gesstapdin.