Fonwigkop is a god.

She takes the form of a small, narcissistic slug.

Fonwigkop created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonwigkop, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fonwigkop, she will turn you into a goat.

Fonwigkop's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Fonwigkop's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never paint your feet brown.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Always pray immersed in water.