Jabwapfun is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, weak snake.

Jabwapfun created the solar system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabwapfun, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jabwapfun, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jabwapfun's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Jabwapfun's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not wear carbon on your body.

5. Never think ill of sick squirrels.