Vonkcengabjadflam is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, stupid raven.

Vonkcengabjadflam created Mount Everest nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkcengabjadflam, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Vonkcengabjadflam, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Vonkcengabjadflam's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Vonkcengabjadflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. You must never eat cherries.

5. Always pray immersed in water.