Haktadfonsagkam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-powerful armadillo.

Haktadfonsagkam created a charm quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Haktadfonsagkam, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Haktadfonsagkam, he will turn you into a rock.

Haktadfonsagkam's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Haktadfonsagkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Hide if six nematodes approach from the south.

5. Never hurt tapirs.