Gofbastcet is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, blissful dolphin.

Gofbastcet created the Tadpole Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Gofbastcet, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gofbastcet, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gofbastcet's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Gofbastcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not speak about parsnips.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always look after injured turtles.