Gofvidpad is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unselfish walrus.

Gofvidpad created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofvidpad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gofvidpad, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gofvidpad's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Gofvidpad's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry dogs.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always treat bats with great respect.

4. Do not kill turtles.

5. Do not commit murder.