Tam is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, contented horse.

Tam created silver five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tam, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tam, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tam's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Tam's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not speak about beans.

4. Tam loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

5. Always stare at clouds.