Rulcimcipfummin is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, sage deer.

Rulcimcipfummin created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Rulcimcipfummin, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Rulcimcipfummin, she will remove you from existence.

Rulcimcipfummin's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Rulcimcipfummin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never laugh near porpoises.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Rulcimcipfummin.

5. Never eat bark.