Arnwatnar is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, amazing raccoon.

Arnwatnar created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arnwatnar, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Arnwatnar, she will not invite you to parties.

Arnwatnar's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Arnwatnar's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat gooseberries.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Hide from violet aardvarks for they are unholy.