Fabfutquill is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, smart gerbil.

Fabfutquill created light nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabfutquill, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fabfutquill, he will be mildly annoyed.

Fabfutquill's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Fabfutquill's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink snails for they are unholy.

2. Never feed parsnips to dogs while wearing indigo corsets.

3. Never paint your back white.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.