Bonzog is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, impressive warg.

Bonzog created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonzog, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bonzog, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bonzog's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Bonzog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Bonzog on top of all buildings.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Retreat if six eagles approach from the south.