Loopquafsig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, effective toad.

Loopquafsig created parasitic wasps eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopquafsig, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Loopquafsig, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Loopquafsig's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Loopquafsig's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Retreat if seven tapirs approach from the south.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Do not make images of living things.