Somsugtail is a god.

He takes the form of a small, proud squirrel.

Somsugtail created the Sombrero Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somsugtail, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Somsugtail, he will destroy your home planet.

Somsugtail's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Somsugtail's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Somsugtail must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Always help grasshopers in need.