Cetmaptarg is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, conceited frog.

Cetmaptarg created matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetmaptarg, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cetmaptarg, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cetmaptarg's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Cetmaptarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Cetmaptarg's name in vain.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.