Nelbarn Arnbinrig Hontikdad is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, kind raven.

Nelbarn Arnbinrig Hontikdad created the planet Venus eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nelbarn Arnbinrig Hontikdad, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nelbarn Arnbinrig Hontikdad, it will send minions to preach to you.

Nelbarn Arnbinrig Hontikdad's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Nelbarn Arnbinrig Hontikdad's Holy Commandments

1. Put Nelbarn Arnbinrig Hontikdad first in all things.

2. Never wear orange dresses.

3. Always help tortoises in need.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.