Dobbessgetmutbandavarmham Garliggeb is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, fast narwhal.

Dobbessgetmutbandavarmham Garliggeb created light four years ago.

If you believe in Dobbessgetmutbandavarmham Garliggeb, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dobbessgetmutbandavarmham Garliggeb, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Dobbessgetmutbandavarmham Garliggeb's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Dobbessgetmutbandavarmham Garliggeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.