Gigtarbit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, fast tortoise.

Gigtarbit created a bottom quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigtarbit, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gigtarbit, it will remove you from existence.

Gigtarbit's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Gigtarbit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four pigs approach from the east.

2. Feed all hungry ants.

3. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not drink alcohol.