Kapmilcussdap is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, irritating capybara.

Kapmilcussdap created a strange quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapmilcussdap, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kapmilcussdap, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Kapmilcussdap's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Kapmilcussdap's Holy Commandments

1. Put Kapmilcussdap first in all things.

2. Run away if four whales approach from the west.

3. Always help sick foxes.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not speak about peas.