Lanvogcin is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless hedgehog.

Lanvogcin created a photon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanvogcin, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lanvogcin, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Lanvogcin's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Lanvogcin's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never talk about black holes.