Safmanfub is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, humorless monkey.

Safmanfub created tapeworms three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Safmanfub, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Safmanfub, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Safmanfub's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Safmanfub's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

2. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

3. Hide if six nematodes approach from the north.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Put Safmanfub first in all things.