Vintofyak is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, clever wyvern.

Vintofyak created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vintofyak, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vintofyak, she will destroy your home planet.

Vintofyak's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Vintofyak's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Do not hurt ducks.

4. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

5. Never wear jumpers.