Bigmipgar is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, compassionate naga.

Bigmipgar created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bigmipgar, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bigmipgar, she will destroy your home planet.

Bigmipgar's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Bigmipgar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Run away if six great tits approach from the west.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Shrews are not to be trusted.