Venfitbess is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, irritating badger.

Venfitbess created a top quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Venfitbess, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Venfitbess, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Venfitbess' most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Venfitbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cats.

2. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

3. Never think ill of sick snails.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never eat tomatoes.