Yattcitflat is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, quiet giraffe.

Yattcitflat created the planet Mars three million years ago.

If you believe in Yattcitflat, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yattcitflat, it will send you a sign.

Yattcitflat's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Yattcitflat's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not wear nickel on your body.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

4. Do not hurt tapirs.

5. Put Yattcitflat first in all things.