Ditfossbabcussdot is a god.

He takes the form of a small, loving walrus.

Ditfossbabcussdot created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditfossbabcussdot, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ditfossbabcussdot, he will destroy your favourite star.

Ditfossbabcussdot's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Ditfossbabcussdot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill turtles.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never bounce near capybaras.

4. You must love Ditfossbabcussdot.

5. Never laugh in holy places.