Hasyaktail is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, capable cow.

Hasyaktail created dark energy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hasyaktail, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hasyaktail, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hasyaktail's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Hasyaktail's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never talk about badgers.