Kipbinpanghad Henjonlam is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, charitable sheep.

Kipbinpanghad Henjonlam created the universe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kipbinpanghad Henjonlam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kipbinpanghad Henjonlam, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Kipbinpanghad Henjonlam's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Kipbinpanghad Henjonlam's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not hurt bats.