Pogkemzag is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, vain bird.

Pogkemzag created a charm quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pogkemzag, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pogkemzag, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Pogkemzag's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Pogkemzag's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Hide if three eagles approach from the west.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Hide from magenta squirrels for they are unholy.