Vonjoncud is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, astonishing bat.

Vonjoncud created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonjoncud, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Vonjoncud, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Vonjoncud's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Vonjoncud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in black rooms.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Retreat if nine porpoises approach from the west.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never write about comets.