Zagvogkik is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, charitable fish.

Zagvogkik created a charm quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zagvogkik, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zagvogkik, he will destroy your home planet.

Zagvogkik's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Zagvogkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always help whales in need.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.