Stignartgarhim is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, awesome zebra.

Stignartgarhim created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Stignartgarhim, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Stignartgarhim, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Stignartgarhim's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Stignartgarhim's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

3. Run away if eight goats approach from the south.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Always help birds in need.