Natvighatneg is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, temperamental gorilla.

Natvighatneg created tapeworms two million years ago.

If you believe in Natvighatneg, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Natvighatneg, he will turn you into a rock.

Natvighatneg's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Natvighatneg's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Natvighatneg's priests.

2. Put Natvighatneg first in all things.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

5. Never look in ponds.