Homveenwon is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, all-knowing zebra.

Homveenwon created time and space three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Homveenwon, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Homveenwon, she will cry a lot.

Homveenwon's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Homveenwon's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Homveenwon.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Always help gulls.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Homveenwon on top of all buildings.