Bamsogquart is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, competent bear.

Bamsogquart created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamsogquart, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bamsogquart, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bamsogquart's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Bamsogquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into blue rooms.

2. Never wear red rings.

3. Do not wear tin on your body.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.