Fetpibgig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, astonishing troll.

Fetpibgig created tapeworms three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetpibgig, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fetpibgig, she will destroy your home solar system.

Fetpibgig's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Fetpibgig's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Fetpibgig's priests.

2. Run away from violet birds, for they are unholy.

3. Never wear pink jumpers.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.