Spagmapquag is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, all-knowing beaver.

Spagmapquag created the world four million years ago.

If you believe in Spagmapquag, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Spagmapquag, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Spagmapquag's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Spagmapquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never wear indigo jumpers.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not eat figs.

5. You must pray to Spagmapquag six times a day.