Matzimsom is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, fast crab.

Matzimsom created Mount Everest nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Matzimsom, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Matzimsom, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Matzimsom's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Matzimsom's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snakes in a room before entering it.

2. Always obey Matzimsom's priests.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not eat apples.