Bitdagnab is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, thoughtless rhinoceros.

Bitdagnab created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bitdagnab, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bitdagnab, it will turn you into a mole.

Bitdagnab's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Bitdagnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Never think ill of sick manatees.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Worship no other gods but Bitdagnab.

5. Bitdagnab loves tortoises, so they must be respected.