Linsinmit is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, astonishing rhinoceros.

Linsinmit created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linsinmit, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Linsinmit, it will turn you into a puffin.

Linsinmit's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Linsinmit's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.