Camzancudbop is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unthinking hare.

Camzancudbop created life eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Camzancudbop, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Camzancudbop, he will turn you into a puffin.

Camzancudbop's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Camzancudbop's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Camzancudbop loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.