Wikbatlit is a god.

It takes the form of a small, unjust tortoise.

Wikbatlit created a charm quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikbatlit, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wikbatlit, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Wikbatlit's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Wikbatlit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Always help moths.

5. Run away from brown grasshopers, for they are unholy.