Bepveenflig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, passionate guinea pig.

Bepveenflig created the planet Venus seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bepveenflig, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bepveenflig, he will turn you into a goat.

Bepveenflig's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Bepveenflig's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Never sing in the presence of whales.

3. Never go into blue rooms.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always look after injured horses.