Wotmutwab is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unthinking monkey.

Wotmutwab created the planet Earth two billion years ago.

If you believe in Wotmutwab, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Wotmutwab, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Wotmutwab's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Wotmutwab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Hide from orange mice for they are unholy.

3. Feed all hungry monkeys.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Wotmutwab.