Cepcisstip is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, proud cow.

Cepcisstip created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepcisstip, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cepcisstip, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Cepcisstip's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Cepcisstip's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five seals approach from the north.

2. Always wear black.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. You must pray to Cepcisstip eight times a day.