Fontomxem is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, pitiless ferret.

Fontomxem created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fontomxem, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Fontomxem, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fontomxem's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Fontomxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick horses.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always look after injured moths.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Fontomxem loves pigs, so they must be honoured.