Mifgumjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, vain eagle.

Mifgumjarn created time and space two million years ago.

If you believe in Mifgumjarn, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Mifgumjarn, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Mifgumjarn's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Mifgumjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Dogs are not to be trusted.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mifgumjarn.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.