Gebgudlakfad is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, staggering gorilla.

Gebgudlakfad created a strange quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebgudlakfad, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gebgudlakfad, she will think nothing of it.

Gebgudlakfad's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Gebgudlakfad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt tortoises.

2. Do not take Gebgudlakfad's name in vain.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always help swans in need.